Are We Not Mentally Crippling our Children?

 The World demands that our children grow into a emotionally and physically strong citizens who can face the challenges head on. But the question we need to ask ourselves is, are we REALLY doing something about it in a purposeful manner, early on when the time was right? Are we really investing time and energy into cultivating the right values and behaviors in our children, preparing them for the tough competitive world?

While I was contemplating on the leadership demands of being more fearless and confident that is put on young citizens and managers today, it stuck me that this muscle is best built when minds are fresh and uncorrupted, during early childhood.

With nuclear families and conflicting demands of time and attention, parents are more than eager to meet each and every demand of our children so that children are 'apparently' happy and contented. Who does not want to give our children all that we could not get in our early childhood, due to lack of money or availability?

Research show that by keeping our children comforted and satiated, we are actually doing more harm than good. We are making our children emotionally and mentally weaker who take things in life as granted and entitled. Their ability to innovate, be creative and have the right attitude towards money get impacted adversely. Have we not really seen the cycles of ups and down in countless business families where one generation creates, second sustains and the third looses it all. Born with a silver spoon where everything in life is given and assumed to available ultimately does not build the respect for money and its value. What you don't value, you lose.

There are three very simple things we as parents can take to help grow our children into a fearless, confident and successful happy citizens.

1. Stop Giving Them Allowances.

Let them earn it. They don't have to go into the outside world in the beginning. Even at home you can assign "Dad Rupees" to daily chores and activities that you want them to cultivate like read books, clean up room. make their bed, polish their shoes, help in kitchen, carry grocery, wash car, walk the pet etc. These "Dad Rupees" earned can be converted to real cash and at the end of month and accumulated. The child can use these to spend on

anything that he/she may be wanting. You could also create Buy One-Get One or Bonus "Dad Rupees" schemes on special festival occasions help child grow his wealth faster without diluting the basic spirit of earning. As they grow up, you can help develop their soft and work skills and ability to earn real pocket money outside. You can encourage them to earn for their desires while we meet their needs. The impact of this simple but very powerful action is far reaching. They not only learn to respect the value of money but also respect the people's worth. It builds the entrepreneurial mindset most needed to today's young leaders.

2. Start a Real Piggy Bank.

We all remember the piggy banks we used to have where we used to put in the spare coins, pocket money allowance etc. While we could not count the value inside it, by weighing and shaking it and feeling the increasing weight of the same, we used to get excited about the

opportunity to buy the next desirable thing on our bucket list. It not only made us aware of the value of money, importantly it cultivated the habit of saving before spending. The decision to break the piggy bank was a very important decision after weighing the priorities. Should you spend that money on the immediate desire or grow it more for the more important possession/need. It subconsciously made the children differentiate between Need and Greed. Even today, when credit is easily available on cards and loans, we always save enough before making the next purchase. Credit Cards are used for the convenience and not for over stretching our finances and get into a debt trap the modern generation gets into very quickly. The old Piggy bank is a simple but very powerful way to train and develop the right culture about money very early.

3. Make Children Part of Money Talk.

Encourage children to do basic accounts, small decisions in the super market on which item to pick up, look at prices and the value it brings, basic monthly budgets etc early on.

I remember how my son aged 9 was actively participating in our shopping decisions in the stores, in prioritizing our spends, spend/save decisions etc and slowing learnt the real value of every Rupee. Today, he and my daughter have grown into responsible young citizens who are purposeful and mindful of their money matters. They have learnt the value of saving and growing their money through investments without scrounging or feeling guilty about spending. Even today, while I might not be be really needing to keep track of every Rupee that we spend, we still maintain a monthly cash spend summary and also track our money, investments and spends etc.

I am sure, all the above simple but powerful actions will help nurture the right values and mindset into our children, not only making them more happy today but also responsible parents and citizens of of the future. If we don't respect money, money will not respect us.

While the above steps may appear to me money oriented, trust me, they impact all aspects of the personality development. It helps in developing the ability to be mindful of your actions and thoughts, help in taking tough but necessary calls, prioritizing conflicting demand, develop the mindset to take calculated risks, be more entrepreneurial in our attitude etc.